I Guess I'm Just Lazy

By Yaacov Weiss, LCSW

He walked into my office like he usually does — calm, quiet, polite. Nothing urgent to discuss. Nothing pressing on his mind.

“So,” I asked, “what would you like to gain from today’s session?”

He looked at me blankly. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it.”

That part always fascinates me. Therapy isn’t mandatory. People take time out of their day, spend money, rearrange their schedules… and yet, for some, sometimes they come in with no clue what they want from it.

I gently asked why he hadn’t thought about what he might want to explore in todays session. He answered, almost as if diagnosing himself: “I guess I'm just lazy. I don’t really do things unless I’m pushed to. If I’m forced, then I act. Otherwise, I just coast.”

“Would you be open to discussing that today?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I guess I wouldn’t mind.”

I smiled. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.”

I walked over to the whiteboard and drew a large box, dividing it into four quadrants. “This is based on Stephen Covey’s time management matrix,” I told him, “from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The idea is that our time — especially our discretionary time — can be divided into four types.”

The categories are:

1. Urgent and important

2. Important but not urgent

3. Urgent but not important

4. Not urgent and not important

“For today,” I said, “let’s just focus on the first two: urgent/important and important/not urgent. Can you give me an example of something in your life that’s urgent and important?”

He thought for a moment. “Driving my kid to school ten minutes before it starts. Going to the doctor when I feel like I have strep.” Those are both urgent and important.

“And something important but not urgent?”

“Leaving earlier so we’re not rushed. Scheduling a well visit when I'm not sick.”

I thanked him for his answers. Although, they weren’t exactly groundbreaking, they worked.

“Here’s what’s interesting,” I said. “Highly effective people spend most of their time in the category of doing things that are important but not urgent. They plan. They invest. They act early. Less effective — but still responsible — people spend most of their time in the category of urgent and important, in other words, they react to crises. What’s the real difference between these two groups?”

He wasn’t sure.

“It’s belief,” I said. “If you believe that you are truly important — then you’ll be invested in yourself to take care of things before they explode. You’ll do the hard work now because the future you matters. But if you don’t believe you’re worth the effort, then you’ll only react when the pressure builds. You’ll only protect yourself from disaster — but not invest in your success.”

He listened quietly.

“Why do you think I brought this up today?” I asked.

He paused, then smiled faintly. “Because I told you I only do things when I’m up against the wall.”

“Exactly.”

This wasn’t a time management session. It was a self-worth session. When people delay, avoid, procrastinate — it’s rarely because they are lazy. It’s usually because they’ve stopped believing that they matter enough to act early.

When you plan ahead, when you invest in your growth, when you make that phone call or schedule that appointment before there is any crisis — you’re not just being productive. You’re sending a message to your own psyche: I matter. I am worth showing up for. I am worthy of living a good life and will invest time and effort towards my own success.